Friday, February 05, 2016

On Time

Time appears to either come toward me and robs me off from my youth, vitality, and strength, or to approach and leaves me behind. Time never stays with me to hang out, chat and walk along the way.

Such a pity!

Would be quite nice to have time as a friend, start a conversation.
And even when it goes faster or slower and separates itself from me, to have the trust that it will come back again, somehow, to continue the unfinished conversation.

Time is an axis that my life's narratives grow around it like vine. It's the center of meaning and character, and as such, the center is empty, like Zen's Enso.

For my conscious and logical mind, the time's direction is rigid, extending from past to the future. Along its direction, certain events take place and past events can be used to predict, imperfectly, the future. Internal figures close to the surface are quite restricted by the flow of linear time.

And yet, I am not the surface of my mind. There are characters deep inside me. Far away from the conscious mind and its linear logic and reasoning. For them, the flow of time is nonlinear, maybe chaotic, or even non-existent. Time dissolves at the depth of unconscious mind.

The strength of my being comes from my emotional depth, from places that are not governed by the petty rules of logic and reason. To access those resources, or at least to have fuller, more meaningful life, I need to access those places. I want to suspend the flow of time.

PS [2016-02006]: Came across this post of mine from January 2012, four years ago, by chance and it seems interestingly related specially the first couple of paragraphs from the quote:
http://myimpossibilitytheorems.blogspot.com/2012/01/inner-landscape-of-beauty.html

But for me, philosophically, stress is a perverted relationship to time. So that rather than being a subject of your own time, you have become its target and victim, and time has become routine. So at the end of the day, you probably haven't had a true moment for yourself. And you know, to relax in and to just be.
And one day I read in him and he [Meister Eckhart, 14th-century German mystic] said, "There is a place in the soul ... that neither time, nor space, nor no created thing can touch." ... that your identity is not equivalent to your biography. And that there is a place in you where you have never been wounded, where there's still a sureness in you, where there's a seamlessness in you, and where there is a confidence and tranquility in you. And I think the intention of prayer and spirituality and love is now and again to visit that inner kind of sanctuary.

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