Thursday, July 17, 2014

Confessions of a Sociopath

is a book [Amazon link] I finished last night. Even though I am not a sociopath but I enjoyed reading it very much. It offered me valuable insights and posed difficult, relevant problems and questions to ponder. But more importantly, I felt a deep understanding of the author, as if I have a sociopath "persona" inside and under different circumstances that persona could have dominated my life.

Since I started reading the book, I felt this urge to contact the author and share some of my own thoughts and experiences with her. Finally, last night I emailed her (via her blog) and thanked her for writing the book. I wanted to say more, but I did not. I read a post on her blog (Empathizer) that described an important and meaningful (for me, personally) situation, and I realized that most of the things I want to say, is already said to her by her enormous blog readers.

More importantly, I have learned through difficult and grueling experiences, that when I want to tell people my insights, it is for the most part a fantasy: the fantasy of being able to talk to part of my self that identifies with that person. Maybe the main sort of enlightenment that I have reached in the past year or so is that I can, sometimes, pull back the veil of fantasy and see the real world and real people. If you don't follow, it's a famous saying in Islamic mysticism/Sufism that the world is a veil to be removed by the seeker, or a dream to be woken from, and I am feeling half awakened now!

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