For the past twenty years or so, I have been fascinated by the Zen idea of living in the here and now. Until now, that is. Reading the S.J. Watson's novel, ``Before I go to sleep,'' I am beginning to question the whole premise. It seems that being human is closely related to our personal history and stories, our understanding of our past and possibilities we imagine for our future:
I can't imagine going on like this for much longer. I know I'll go to sleep tonight, and then tomorrow I will wake up and not know anything again, and the next day, and the day after that, forever. I can't imagine it. I can't face it. It's not life, it's just an existence, jumping from one moment to the next with no idea of the past, and no plan for the future. It's how I imagine animals must be. ---p. 194, Before I go to sleepI am glad that I am developing healthy suspicion of everything I believe, including Zen!