Monday, August 12, 2013


In my previous post, [Healthy Narcissism and Abuse], I defined the abusive relationship as one in which the abuser invades the natural narcissistic space of the abused and induces a deep sense of shame and worthlessness in the victim. Often, the abuser loves the abused and this invasion is done in the name of the improvement and betterment (of the abused) and in many situations the abused person agrees, at some level, with the abuser on the necessity of this invasion.

This bring a rather fascinating question: Can a person abuses his/her own self? The natural question is in such a scenario is, ``who is abusing whom?'' My answer involves a simple construct of the mind. [I am going to explore this structure in more depth in my essay on dreams and creation. Hopefully :) ] In this structure, the conscious part of the mind appears to be in charge for the most part when a person is awake. But this is rather a delusion. People make decisions with a faculty that is greater, and subsumes, their conscious and subconscious mind processes. Due to the lack of a better term, I call this ``whole mind/being.'' Self-abuse happens when a person's conscious mind tried to invade the narcissistic space of the same person by forcing changes upon the "whole mind.'' The attempt results in self-doubt, shame, and self-inflicted sense of worthlessness.

Is this scenario too far fetched? Based on my observations, most people engage in such self-abusive behavior on daily basis and with good intentions. Remember that very often, the abusive relationship has an element of love and affection. Abuser typically tries to change something deep inside the abused in order to deal with some of his/her own basic insecurities and shame. It is possible, and quite probable, then that the abuser does not stop at abusing others and engage in self-absuive behavior as well.


An amazing modern dance piece:

Sigur Ros - Valtari by Christian Larson from Christian Larson on Vimeo.

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