Friday, July 20, 2012

The Wild Horse

What are the images that most people associate with love? A romantic dinner? Holding hands? Looking into a lover's eyes?
Today, I had the image of love as a wild horse! Most of us live our lives riding an old, obedient donkey, locking the wild horse in the stable, out of reach and out of sight. The wild horse is a source of energy, wild destructive energy.

The energy in love, or more generally in human contact, can be overwhelming, destructive, and even disgusting. Think of a father caressing his little child. Something happens, and now he feels sexual tension in his touch. Something churns his stomach. He is overpowered by an unspeakable desire, unthinkable desire, that can easily destroy his entire life!

Energy is not good or bad. Energy is overwhelming, dangerous, and mesmerizing. In order to deal with the wild horse, it has to be taken out of the safe stable.  And there will be a period of time, before the rider gains the confidence and trust to properly deal with the horse, that anything can happen. Who wants to take that risk? It is only rational that most of us live happily with the old, obedient donkey. Freeing the wild horse is crazy. And yet, some of us are captivated by the risk and the possible rewards of the endeavor.

Love is less romantic than we think.

While I was thinking all these, on my way to playing tennis, Franz Schubert's String Quintet in C major was being played on radio. I caught the middle of the second movement and as I continued listening to the end, something strange in the music and in my body happened, as if the composer's inner struggles with love and its frightening energy was projected on me. Quite amazing!

Franz Schubert String Quintet in C maj:
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqckrCpYVPs
Wiki link (on ) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/String_Quintet_%28Schubert%29
http://www.franzpeterschubert.com/string_quintet.html

PS. I am listening to it again :)

2 comments:

  1. "Love is less romantic than we think." OR even more romantic that we can imagine. Doesn't it depend on your feeling at the moment? No matter whether you are within love or yearning for it.

    I recently attempted (very mildly, though) the risk of releasing that horse out of the safe stable. It was extremely crazy, yet liberating. For once, I let my "desire" run my life. I had to stop it in its infancy, though. I could not take the enormity of this change, this relinquishment, yet. Now, I am trying very hard to recover from it. I need time to analyze it before calling it a successful risk or a destructive one. Whatever the final outcome, I am proud of myself for giving myself the permission for doing it. (FYI it was done in a very safe environment, though!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In retrospect, eight months after writing this post, I feel that my struggles with the wild horse was the best thing happened to me in life, liberating me from a lot of self-imposed constraints and restraints that had made me feel depressed, hopeless, and frustrated.

      Delete

Clear Shallow Water

I started reading this novel, `` The Driver ,'' by Hart Hanson , and I did not like it much and decided to stop. But then I came ba...