Saturday, June 16, 2012

Simple Truth

Every healthy adult is, first and foremost, responsible for his own well-being.

First, the easier application : I have to understand my own needs and limits and make my decisions accordingly. No one knows what's best for me (even myself). Nevertheless, I have to accept this level of imperfection and continue making decisions and accept their consequences. I may ask for other people's help but, under no condition, I should expect them to "understand my situation, anticipate my needs, and initiate actions to help me accordingly.''Other people, no matter how close to me, are -not- responsible for my well-being!

Second, and maybe the more difficult practice for me: Other healthy adults also have the same responsibility to know their needs and follow them. I do not know what's best for others. I should -not- assume the responsibility of other people well-being, no matter how close they are to me! (As Maziar sometimes says, we all have some form of God complex, thinking arrogantly that we have the knowledge and power to change other peoples' lives!)


I wrote the above lines 15 days ago but did not publish the post because it seemed so trivial to me! Since then, I have found out: (1) It is very difficult to follow these simple instructions! (2) Most people agree with these principles, but have difficulty practicing them. Often, they do not see how they violate them, in fact!


It is easier to keep my balance, in the way I described above, when dealing with people who are not very close to me, who do not play a significant role in my life. What is most difficult is to follow the above ideas when dealing with those whom I love. When I love someone, and deeply care for her/him, I find it extremely tempting to try to make them happy and expect them to make me happy. Nevertheless, it is important to remind myself that it is not a matter of responsibility on either sides.


The issue of "taking the responsibility" is of critical importance here. I had an experience last night that I saw that clearly.  It is a matter of grave importance what we do and do not take responsibility for.

This video clip (music and picture) is amazing! (Thanks to heterodoxical)


  1. Thanks for the reminders! I came to this realization a couple of years ago, but it is very very hard to really get it, to practice it on a daily basis, and I do not think I have got it yet.

  2. Thanks dear Nargess, I know, it is VERY difficult ... but there is no other way than to persist :)


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