Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Escaping Pain?!

It becomes more evident to me that as long as we look for perfection in life, as long as we try to avoid the inherent pain of living, we cannot go beyond a certain level of self-awareness and self-realization. Here is an interesting exposition of the idea in the context of psychotherapy:

Becoming more differentiated is possibly the most loving thing you can do in your lifetime---for those you love as well as yourself. ...

The problem is, becoming more differentiated isn't easy. The many small steps toward core transformation involve more than a self-indulgent search to ``find yourself.'' ....  No one ever wants to differentiate. You'll probably do it for the same reasons most people do: differentiating eventually becomes less painful than the alternative. ...

... We've promised ourselves paradise through self-knowledge: love, sex, and transcendence will be easy once we know ourselves and our partner. But that's often when you need to soothe your own heart and calm you own anxieties to take care of yourself. That's what differentiation offers. ---pp.73-74, Passionate Marriage

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