Thursday, November 18, 2010

Delicate Force of Despite: Example

A dear reader-friend has asked me for an example for the abstract notion of the previous post. Here is a very simple and recent example! :)

So I write the post, I am excited and waiting for a comment, for an hour, two hours: Nothing! I get angry; these so-called friends-readers do not care about what I write. "So I am going to stop writing here." This is a decision out of despite. In the future, I may need to write something here. I may enjoy writing here. And, the best way to stay in the moment is to make the decision (to write here or not) as the occasion comes up. If I take my "despite" decision (not to write here) seriously and follow it for a while, at least two things happen:
First, I waste a lot of energy fighting with myself to not write here.
Second, when a situation arises that I have to make the decision (to write or not) I simply follow my old promise (not write) and my actions lose their touch with the reality of the moment. I become indifferent to what I feel inside (my intuition and energy) and what I observe outside (the necessity of the moment).

Does this make any sense? I hope it does!


  1. Thanks for clarification and yes that made sense. Here is what I think:

    What you referred to as “despite” is a sort of “discouragement” to me. Don’t you think that is normal to be discouraged by things that do not go as we planned or we hoped for?

    I totally agree with the whole concept but the question is how to not fight with it but to recognize it and learn to live with it and try our best to self-motivate. I think it is important that the motivation force comes from within. It should not be from outside forces because if they go away, the despite force will appear again.

    Taking your example, if I don’t see any comments following my post, I have to know that it is all right because the reason I am blogging is not about some strangers reading my thoughts and ideas but it is about me who is practicing to articulate those ideas.

    Another way of looking at it is if I am not leaving comments for each and every post, is not because I don’t care about that particular post but I might not have enough time to write an insightful comment (I am not sure if this or any comments I write is really insightful!!), or repeat the same thing about great posts by writing (WOW! blah blah ....) everytime, or the topic is something that I am not that familiar with, or it is sensitive issue and I do not see myself qualified to say something.

  2. Sorry if this sounds like what you were saying...

  3. Thanks a lot Daisy Jaan for the detailed comment.
    What I call despite comes after discouragement, when you decide to take revenge by committing to something that "MAY" hurt others but "for sure" hurts you in the first place. It is what we call "LAJBAAZI" maybe.

    Feelings are OK, positive or negative (including discouragement, sorrow, ...) and we cannot do much about them, it is when they result in negative thoughts (revenge, despite) and ultimately to actions that are harmful--mostly to ourselves.

    Again thanks a lot for your detailed comment :)

    BTW, I REALLY like stories, especially short ones ;)


IT'S NOT ...

.. ``It's not your spread, and it's not how strong you are, and it's not how fast you are, because you have all those thing...