Friday, November 12, 2010

Anger and Resentment

My previous post is an "expression" of anger and resentment, anger toward my depression and resentment toward correctness, and it is not a factual statement!

It has become clear to me that I have two main personalities, say "lotus" and "dead" :) "Lotus" is more of a happy, social, female figure who loves making social connections and finding (mostly female) friends. "Dead" is a serious, competitive, male figure who loves being alone, thinking, analyzing, and planning.
I am convinced that I cannot make either figure completely dominant (and erase the other one), "being lotus all the time" is not going to work ... I need to get these personalities together and maybe resolve their differences into one common personality. I am tired and worried about the large swings between these moods.

2013-05-24: Fast forward two and half years: I feel more like having a unified personality rather than ``dissociated'' ones :)


  1. I am wondering how many people are suffering from the same thing without knowing it. As for me, I have also need to get through mood swings. But I try to say positive as much as I can because that is the only way I can get through life... I hope you come up with a detus personality very soon. For now you can come and leave comments on my blog as dead once in awhile (when you have too). :)))

  2. OK, I'm so glad you wrote this post to explain the previous one. I was getting really worried, and yet I didn't want to leave a "cliché" comment...Whew!

    I like both of them, but to tell you the truth, I like "dead" a tiny bit more. It has a don Juan Matus/Castaneda nature to it. So, keep both and use them due to the situation.

    PS: "Detus" from daisy was a funny and smart suggestion as well...Hey Daisy :)

  3. Daisy Jaan,
    Who said I am suffering? I am experiencing this among other things in life :P
    Thanks for your thoughtful and funny comment!

  4. You are absolutely right, my experience is that even talking about the "s" word should be considered seriously, thanks for your thoughtfulness.

    Interesting! well, you have not seen "Dead" really, only close friends and family have seen him in full swing :)
    You remark about Don Juan/Castandena is quite amazing to me ... I cannot explain exactly why/how though!

    And I like "detus" too!
    Thanks a lot for your kind words, Nava Jaan.


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