Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Strange Feelings - My Laments

The past couple of weeks (with increased medications!:) have been strange. I feel really good for a few days, and then depressed for a couple of days. Added to that, recently, even when I feel happy, I also have a deep feeling that something is not "right", a sense of being on a sharp edge such that any moment I can fall (to depression?)  and I am more irritable too.

It is not that I want to give up, but sometimes the only thing I wish for is to have moments of peace, I guess it is too much to ask :)

Caution: This video has a very nice music, but some graphic images of violence and such. 

رفتم اگر از جمع عزیزان گله دارم               پیموده ره پاک شهیدان گله دارم
خودخواهی یاران سبب دلشکنی هاست       زین شیشه بشکسته و پاشان گله دارم
 بیگانه اگر ظلم و جفا کرد ، عجب نیست      از غفلت و بی مهری یاران گله دارم 
جان در ره جانان شد و یاران همه غافل       با جان بخون خفته ز جانان گله دارم

 I have watched/listened to the video 10-15 times today. Here are some insensitive comments:
 - I really like the Afghanis way of singing Parsi songs, as Hafez would say, there is some "ESHVE" and "TANNAZI" in their voice.
- They say a person's eye after death capture the last moments of the life. Here, Neda's eye definitely captures her sense of terror and her frightened soul. But more than that there is an innocent "surprise" in her eyes, simply saying, what happened? How did this come upon me? Am I dreaming? Who is the person who is taking my picture?

Here is another video with an old and favorite song and the same content (about Neda):

Caution: This video has a very nice music, but some graphic images of violence and such.


  1. Are the ups and downs side effects of the medication? I follow you in blogger. Hope writing your feelings down help.

  2. I do not think so, because before I increased the medications I had a similar situations and in fact the down cycles were somewhat longer.
    For a long while I was fine on lower medication, but thing started to change slowly for the worse 6-7 months ago.

    Writing and meditation ... do help on the margin.

    Anyway, thanks for following and leaving comments. I hope all is well with you!

    Take care

  3. Prescribing you a wedding in Columbus with some good friends:
    - plan the car/flight reservation for 1 week
    - prepare yourself well for 1 week
    - fly and land in the middle of nowhere for some fun

    Dr. Shadenah :D

  4. Thanks Dr. Shadenah

    I am feeling well today, so if I wanted to decide now, I would have definitely come :)


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