Thursday, August 05, 2010

Parallel Stories

I used to tell a story about what happened in the past year and a half. That I started the mindfulness path (for the lack of a better word :) and got more and more involved in it, that I am opening myself up to my potentials and building a harmony. I may have to change my job or life path, but it is in the right direction.

Today, I came up with an alternative story, which is interesting, educative and horrifying. For the first six months or so after I started the mindfulness, everything was going fine. I had a few month of the best time in my whole life, maybe due to the freshness of the new path. However, as new practices became less "new", instead of simply living the life as it happens, I had to get to newer levels. So, I increased my commitments to change, and broke many attachments. The sad thing is that the whole purpose of mindfulness is to live life fully, not to escape from it!

I do not know which story is happening, time will tell me. The alternative story does not sound good: I will lose my current job, social and economic position in a year. Many people that I have had the fortune to know, and situations that I created, simply depend on my current state, and I may lose all of them. I read this yesterday, "If you make stupis choices, don't look for sympathy as you face the grave consequences!"

A few months ago I wrote on my office board, "ASK TOUGH QUESTIONS, GIVE HONEST ANSWERS!" Now I ask myself, what was my motive for what I did in the past year? Was it really to realize my self, or to escape the life realities, to avoid living the life as it goes? I have to gather my courage to face the honest answer :)))

Coming to think of it, does it really matter why I made those choices? For whatever reason, I made them and I have to face the consequences, and the rest is stories that I tell myself :)

Strange! I just came across a possible answer to my last question [here]: We are the stories we tell our selves!


  1. Sometimes I think there is one reason to know "why" some choices are made: to know the roots, which will help us whether or not to make similar choices in the future. Of course if a decision is based on some lousy reason, for which you have to face unpleasant consequences, you don't want to repeat the pattern over and over again...Well, unless you want to!
    So, despite being more of a "how" and "what" person rather than "why", sometimes I see the impotance in getting deep to know "why".

  2. Increasing your commitments to change (as you put it) does not mean that you’re escaping from life. It is in some people’s nature that they get bored easier than the others. They like change and they even function better. To be honest, I don’t like to stay in one job for the rest of my life because I think it restricts me on what I can learn and do. I like to step out of my comfort zone once in a while and challenge myself. I don’t like routines and that does not mean I can’t enjoy life the same level as someone who was born in a city, lived all their life in that city, or stay in one job all their life.

    Sometimes choices seem brilliants at the time you make them and under those circumstances, they seem logic as well. If it turns out to not be a good one, you have to tell yourself that you made a risk. We all need to make some calculated risk once in a while otherwise we minimize our chances to improve. And always remember everyone makes mistakes. and stop regret the past helps a lot too.

  3. Nava'ye Aziz

    Thanks for your thoughts.
    I understand your points, at the logical level, at least :)
    but when was the last time we learned from our mistakes? Further, how many times we thought of a situation as a bad mistake and later, maybe years later, we realized that it was for better?
    Still I understand your point :)

  4. Daisy'e aziz

    Thanks for your thoughtful comment!

    As for your first point, there is a conundrum here that I am still dealing with here, which is hard to explain ... it relates to the idea of "Mastery", as a path of self-realization by persistence in doing, sometimes meaningless, things.

    As for the second point, I totally see your point. Again, thanks for sharing!


IT'S NOT ...

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