Sunday, June 27, 2010

Ego Dilemma

  • I have a feverish temperature! :(   ...   :)
  • At some level of prosperity, overcoming life challenges becomes our main path to grow, and to feed our egos. A Zen mind, however, takes paths of least resistance, as water does, because it has nothing to prove. 
  • Today, after a few not-so-good hours, I embarked on a journey of least resistance :) Made a series of good decisions that fed into each other, I guess. At some point, I realized that something is different. Like driving in a dark alley with "NO ONE" around you, no one to prove your ego, to speed up or slow down, to show off, and then somehow nothing would matter much anymore. You just do what you do, even kind of lonely, so to speak.
  • To realize how deeply our ego is involved in our daily life, do the following simple experiment. Drive on a not-so-crowded highway at an exhilarating (but safe ;) speed, pass slower vehicles and enjoy your self. Then, at one point, once a slow car happens to be in front of you, resist the temptation and stay behind it, slow down. If you are like me, you feel something inside you just want to change lane and pass by the slow car ... 
  • I am not feeling well, bodily, seems that I am becoming sick a day before the big travel! :( .... :)
  • A quote from ``Women, Food, and God,'' by Geneen Roth:
`` Eighty hungry women are sitting in a circle with bowls of cold tomato vegetable soup; they are glowering at me, furious. It is lunchtime on the third day of the retreat. .... Although the retreat is going well and many people here have had life-changing insights, at this moment no one cares. ... They want to be left alone with their food, period. ... It is one thing to be conscious about food in the meditation hall, and another to be sitting in the dinning room, refraining from taking even one bite until the entire group has been served.'' (p. 1)
  •  This is my ego 'I' speaking, asking for attention, talking to people and giving insights, and getting more inflated by their appreciation of the depth I am offering, getting happy at peoples comments, citing my blog entries, yes, I am important, look at me, I am sick, give me your attention, feel bad so that I feel good, prolonging my hallucinations, here I go, having fever and having insights about life ... feeling threatened by inattention, hey you, why are you not listening to I, answering I, pitying I, loving I, why are you following your own lives, stop, stop, please, .... 
  • When everything is frightening, strange, around, the only way is to trust, that thing inside that will push you through, and those whom you know and the thing inside them.

2 comments:

  1. OK! I guess the fever should be around 38-39 at least. The point before the last shows this :)
    And I very much like it (the point before the last). It was so easily flowing that I didn't have even a pause, my eyes just went along with the flow of the words...was almost like a scene from a movie by "Darioush Mehrjouee" :))

    Have a safe and sound trip!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Once in the tennis court, the lady tennis pro (she was being friendly :) told me, "you are a drama queen", so here you go :))

    Thanks for your kind words, Nava!

    ReplyDelete

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