Tuesday, May 25, 2010


It is said, "There is truth that breaks your back bones!"

I have been asking, "What is the source of mental energy?"

I have an intuition that the source is our "connections" to people, and other things, around us



Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Confusion, ... Trust

I am more and more convinced that a lot of things that we thought of as "intellectual" or "spiritual" are indeed bodily experiences.

Trust is a vivid example for my point. Most people would think of trust as a concept that mind has to deal with. Whereas trust is an experience that comes out of long practice and a bodily acceptance (letting go).

Consider the Kyudo master in the above video. At the full draw, the bow weight, easily 20 kg and more, is focused on a small, 1 sq-mm, edge in the glove! Nevertheless, if you touch the muscles of the forearm of a master, they are completely relaxed. This is only possible if the archer "trusts" the glove and his body, as even a slight rotation in the glove hand can lead to a premature release. This trust is only developed over many years of practice. It is -NOT- an abstract idea ...

Friday, May 14, 2010


I realized that many emotions that I "reflect" in my daily life are fake. Why? Don't know and not sure if I care to "know" the answer ... As typical of me, I like to find some practices to deal with this :) Maybe I need to work more on being present, especially in my contacts with myself and others.

Entering a mindful-meditative state is relatively easy, but maintaining it while working, making decisions, and specially contacting with others is much more difficult. That is one reason that Kyudo can be life changing, over long enough period of time :))

PS. [2013-01-11] I was exactly right then, a lot of my emotions were fake at the time. The emotional honesty has come at a great price, by letting myself to be emotionally open and involved with the world around me, and by allowing myself to fall in love. 

Saturday, May 08, 2010


Quite unexpectedly, swimming is evolving into a full blown meditation that is opening exciting doors. Today, in our backyard tiny pool, I had an amazing experience ... of totally letting go, relaxing, and floating, to the extent that for a few short minutes I experienced being a fish ...

Well, the exhaustion from two hours of tennis and a bottle of beer was not inconsequential either :)))

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Foooolish ... nessss :)

If you are stupid enough, like me, to listen to these clips more than 4-5 times then the tunes stay with you for hours, days, or maybe months. They feature in the Serbian film, "Underground", which absolutely funny, crazy, dark, and beautiful. If you watch the movie and get into it, then these tunes will become unforgettable!

Goran Bregovic - Mesecina

Goran Bregovic Kalashnikov

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

I am exploring

the gray area between "letting go" and "giving up"
A bit ironic for a "dead man" anyway :)

1) So far, I have found a good deal of depression there!

Water flows, patiently, takes me down
Creatures of deep, welcome me back
Breeze, making serene waves, says farewell

2) After the sentimental phase passed, I discovered another animal in the gray area, and that was the importance of accepting the "responsibility of own decisions", fully.

3) In the midst of the up and downs of the past couple of days, for a brief interval I experienced a clarity of vision and focus, which was new to me!

4) Some souvenirs from my trip :)))

Bach, Air on the G string (Air on a G string, string orchestra):

Chopin, Nocturne in B Major, opus 32 no.1, Piano Solo (animated score):

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Shadi Sadr: My Take

Now that it has cooled down, here is my idiosyncratic interpretation.

There is a non-trivial distinction between "women/human/individual rights" as concepts and as practices.

Example: Reading a couple of books on sports, a typical person would "intellectually agree" on the concepts such as (1) relaxation is important for balance and performance in physical activities, (2) using muscles of hip and abdomen area results in huge improvement in performance in physical activities.
However, to be able to "practice" such ideas effectively, a person needs years and decades of practice!

Therefore, even if everyone in Iran agrees on the concepts such as "women equal rights", it does not make much of a difference until it becomes a practice in daily lives of the majority of people. Social practices only change over generations, whether we like it or not. Parents have to train themselves to understand and implement, at least partially, individual rights, including women rights, so that their children grow up in such an environment, and then themselves, push the movement one step further.

In my mind, even though government can facilitate/hinder the process, it is NOT the main factor in this process.  Let us quit blaming others (foreign countries, government, religious conservatives, men, ....) and start improving ourselves. Self-improvement in practice is much more difficult than writing pretty slogans on our weblogs, but it is the only meaningful road to a better future!

Sunday, May 02, 2010

Unconditional Love and Trust --- A Genetic Disorder !?! :)

A story on NPR that fascinated me:



``A Life Without Fear
Isabelle, 9, was born with a rare genetic disorder that, among other things, means she is biologically incapable of not trusting people. Her pathological trust of everyone has made for some serious challenges in raising her, but Isabelle's parents say there are also rewards to a child with boundless love and trust."

IT'S NOT ...

.. ``It's not your spread, and it's not how strong you are, and it's not how fast you are, because you have all those thing...