Monday, December 07, 2009

Secret Love

This summer, in Tehran, I found an old letter from a university friend. As I read the letter, I felt that the writer really liked me, or maybe even loved me. It was a sad realization of the moments passing by without us appreciating their true contents.
I used to be secretly in love with many people (since when I was a teenager, until late twenties when I got married). But I never even considered the possibility that someone else liked me .... or at least I do not remember now, and I guess I am romanticizing and exaggerating a bit too :)))


  1. I guess I was so dumb in so-called "love" stuff other people had to tell me: "Hey!! so and so is in love with you idiot!" A couple of guys were straight enough to tell me how they felt about me but then they weren't my type. I guess in a closed society like Iran you can't really expect people to be so open about their feelings and we end up with these mysteriously unflourished relations!

  2. hah! is this a generational thing? I mean you know that you liked/loved some people but you never expect that you could be loved too. i find it very common in our generation and older generations of Iranian people and find it not very often here. Of course, I have to somehow relate everything to social psychology- it being my passion- so I am thinking maybe lack of self- believe? trust in self? self esteem? I dont know, it just occurred to me, no research/study behind it.

    As for your comment on my last post, I really enjoy how you see things that most pp dont. You are absolutely right. But no worries. Being raised under the supervision of parents who had way too big expectations of their children-I would call it parentifying young kids- I am very mindful of that. I guess it is innate in him, at least I hope so.

    thanks for the very thoughtful comments. oh, and you had asked a question too. About how some people were thrown out of my circle of trust after I had my baby. I am going to write about it. I will. Some day.

  3. Born,

    I agree with what you said about a close society and such. At least our generation have had a hard time expressing our feelings in reasonable, meaningful, ... ways :)

    However, I would be cautious about generalizing too much, I have a small sample of observations anyway ...

  4. Shadi,

    I do not know either ... appears a generational things, at least on the surface, but there may be other stuff going on ... there is an aspect that I am discovering now, and that is how little I paid attention to the "present" and what was actually happening around me, rather than being in dreams and worries about future and regrets about the past. I think this aspect is rather universal for a certain age, say teenagers and young adults

    Thanks for your comments about my comment :)))) I am glad that you already know a lot about different aspects of raisng your son. Our influence on kids are in very subtle ways, I have a very interesting story that I have to find time to write, but the moral is that the best way to raise a good child is to be good to ourselves ...

    I know well what that means, I actually did the same above, when we say we "will" write about something, it usually means that we are making "that thing" too big and we will never write it :))))


IT'S NOT ...

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