A comment I wrote on this post:
Thanks for writing this post, it is very interesting subject to me and I am sure there are many aspects we can discuss at the intellectual level.
Yet, I am thinking about an alternative approach to such questions, a practice approach. Start by refraining from judging your self when you make errors or mistake, for example, when playing a game or doing some regular tasks. Be conscious about your feelings, how difficult (or maybe easy :) it is for you, and what you feel afterward. This is even before you try to apply the idea to other people. See if the practice of "being non-judgmental about your self" works for you. We are all different, something that works for me may not work for you. Once you have enough experience, you may feel curious about applying the practice to other people around you, especially those close to you.
The advantage of this approach is that your body learns things in an intuitive and amazing ways, without much interference and confusion caused by intellectual thinking. The disadvantage, of course, is that it is a practice and takes time, there is no easy fast solution to read off a book.
Thanks again for initiating this line of thoughts, I should make this into a post on my weblog :))))