Saturday, March 21, 2009

Discovery ?!?

1- I was not feeling well for the past couple of days, starting from Friday morning, TAHVILE SAAL!? Today, while playing tennis, a sudden fear captured me for a few seconds. A free fall kind of feeling. What if all I have done in the past few month in meaningless? What if all the improvements were just the exuberance from a new thing and I end up back to my old self, with all the disappointments, anger, self-hatred and such?

2- A friend introduced me to a good book a couple of weeks ago, "Mastery" by George Leonard. A basic theme is that learning a physical activity develops through stages, starting with a fast improvement, then a slight drop to a plateau (a period of stagnation) and the cycle repeats in the journey to mastery. The concept makes good sense to me in my learning of tennis and kyudo.

3- On my way back from tennis, I suddenly put the two together: What if not only physical learning, but mental and psychological development also involve such cycles? Then I should expect a slight drop to a plateau for a while, until the next phase of improvement! That was sort of a relief :)


  1. very interesting.....makes sense...have to watch for

  2. Life's like that Cuckoo jan; Life is always like that: filled with strange moments of doubt and discovery...

    I believe that if you do not doubt and discover, you are not evolving at all...
    So it's a good sign; perhaps a clue...

    Be happy and have fun in the first days of the new year.

  3. Dear fk and Parinaz,
    thanks for your comments.
    in my case, i need to let go of worrying and keep doing and practicing ... that seems to be the way to deal with plateaus: to enjoy them :)

  4. Cuckoo,
    You are a thinker and this is not bad at all...I personally don't enjoy reading books by Paulo Coelho, esp the Farsi translations but I received his The Zahir for Christmas and I am really enjoying it. Makes you think about stuff we normally don't...

  5. Thanks for the recommendation Born, I will try the Zahir once I get a chance

    I have read only his Alchemist, and I agree with you, there was something in his book ... like a catchy movie that impresses you instantly but then leaves you with a bad feeling after a while

  6. I go through those self-punishing and brutal self-evaluation periods too.

    Thanks. Reading the excerpt was a relief for me as well.

    The drug that "I" use is the notion that ultimately, there's no 'value' attached to anything: as easy as falling in despair over such negative feelings, I think, are believing in the positive ones. I mean, there's no ultimate value system, right? So all the 'adjectives' are BSs made up by 'my mind'. So let me at least believe in the BS which tastes better, right? :))

  7. Aidin,

    Everyone has to find his/her own way of dealing with depression, medication included :).
    However, to be honest I am suspicious of methods that only deal with mind and how we treat/interpret things. What I really recommend is a combination of changing habits, (actual drug) medication, and changing mindset all combined.


IT'S NOT ...

.. ``It's not your spread, and it's not how strong you are, and it's not how fast you are, because you have all those thing...