Friday, March 28, 2008


Being in the now seems a lost trait from our animal ancestors that had to live with fear all the time ... It 's hard to imagine an animal in natural environment living in dreams instead of then and now

Friday, March 14, 2008


Met an interesting dude a couple of weeks ago, asked him an old question yesterday, he gave not-so-related reply, but I eventually got my answer---some sort of an answer, or an idea of an answer .... :)

PS. I guess this was my version of being excited about that conversation and the following intuition!

I think this incident is related to the starting days of my Kyudo practice when I told the Sensei about my problem with Tai-Chi and Yoga practices in the past. They made me anxious and angry. He mentioned that Kyduo has so many complicated and delicate details that the keeps the mind super busy. I hope I am not mistaken about the whole thing, as five years have passed since I wrote this. But in any case, that conversation was one of the important conversations between me and Sensei and I learned its truth and value gradually over time. Good times! I miss Kyudo now, but I know that I had to make the decision to stop practicing Kyudo given the process that I was going through.
Spring of 2008 was the start of a self-discovery process for me and now I cherish every moment of it, even though at times I was not able to see anything beyond total despair and darkness.
For one thing, now it is much easier for me to get excited about things and express my excitement, lol

Monday, March 03, 2008

No Country for no one

After a year or so, we finally made it to the movie theater, to watch what? yes, no country ... a perfect film for eS30eH ... she hated it totally ... I found it disturbing at first, then I realized that it is somehow "Lynch" (blue velvet, lost highway) meets "Jarmush" (ghost dog, dead man) ... finally, I realized that the film is not really that dark, it seemed like zen of killing and the brothers' art was in making the zen really unlikeable, which is true, because zen is not nice or beautiful, it is perfect and ruthless

IT'S NOT ...

.. ``It's not your spread, and it's not how strong you are, and it's not how fast you are, because you have all those thing...